So i have been experiencing some issues today..got some cleanign done but what i would have liked only did coys room an playroom...still have dishes an living room needs swept kitchen needs mopped...an other then my friendships needs maintained..i hurt one of my Best friends today which obviously i did not intend to do....she knows i got her back just like i know she has mine...but it doesnt feel like it at times at all...I do have my own issues but i never meant for them to come back an smack me in the face like they did today...i dont want to lose people in my life like i have before but not really sure how to stop it from happening when it feels like i have no one to turn too, no one close to me has lost a parent no one close to me can help feel this pain i dont know how to word it my dad has been gone a month a week an 4 days.....some worse then others but knowing he is gone hurts the most...i regret somethings i have said in the past to my dad, an somethings i have prayed to god not even 7 months ago because of me an jason fighting....but god took my dad either way an love is always there for him an him to me, even though i can not see him i know he is watchin over me......but it doesnt heal the hurt it doesnt take away everythingi have seen heard an watched go down since he has been gone...i feel like i am in a ring of fire watching people peck away my dads belongings saying he didnt have much one minute an the next saying that they feel jaimie an i dont want them to have anything...yet hello you have his home an his truck isnt that enough NO OF COURSE NOT
i am angry frustrated lost confused hurt an most of all sad that i am hurting people i love an care for i have been saying things without thinking an even though i am hurting i dont mean to hurt others...........maybe i will just take a breather form everyone since i am already pushing them to the point of wanting nothing to do with me..i dont know i dont disappear easily people no where i am an i am a very out spoken person..i am sorry for hurting anyone an i am still me just lost for right now....tryin to find my back i swear!!!!
1 comment:
You didn't and won't lose me Kimmy, don't ever worry about that. I was just in a bad place last night.. i didn't want you to feel like i though i thought you didn't care. You are a great friend, you just have a lot going on right now.
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