my daddy

So today is the day when it was finalized threw my dad's biopsy that he has cancer...he is in Cincinnati's Va Hospital.

My dad has it in his Lung, Pancreas, Liver, Abdomen, an Kidney...they are doin a catscan on his brain as well to see if any has gotten there. Chemo we arent sure will help him at this point...he has been the hospital since Nov. 13th...he was only in there for bronchitis an a touch of amonia, now it is something stronger something worse something that will eventually take his life...i wanted a painless death for my parents i dont want him to suffer...

He told me on the phone today not to worry so much about him, an that he has lived a long life....an GOD know's what he is doin up there! He is tryin to be strong for us he knows we love him so much...i dont want to make this harder on my dad to deal with the fact of cancer...but i PRAY for so much more time i know age doesnt matter but i am only 23 i dont want to lose my dad...i dont think anyone is ever ready to lose a loved one especially their child or parents i suppose are the hardest! I just have to take the tim ei have left with him, hopefully they will let him come home no one has told me what stage cancer he is in! they just know it has spread threw out his major organs. i guess i will find out more during this week...

Sad holiday once again, gramps last year i didnt want to celebrate turkey day felt empty..an now this year bad news all over again...i just wish he was home for turkey day. thats all i want let him be home by christmas i want to spend the holidays with my family together makin memories!

just keep in thoughts an prayers an as well i hope everyone enjoys their family an never takes them for granted!!!

catchin up

So i have had a crazy week 46 hours an my car gets worked on tomorrow an the lovely JIMMY i just put 530.00 in is now f***ing UP again:O( the transmission this time 700-1000.00 go figure my luck

just whn i think things cant get worse,hmmmm they do my dad is in the hospital his white blood cell count is very low, an his lungs have somethin wrong with them...an not even two days ago he called me tryin to get me to get ahold of joe but i was at work, he needed a ride to work an back or to borrow the SUV so he wont lose his job...now he is in the hospital GOD I HOPE HE IS ok...i want to go see him but i dont have any money once i fix my car thank god i am riding with my mom Saturday to Brandis baby shower otherwise i would be home bound with bay bay gifts...i dont know have alot of feelings right now losin my apetite hopin things work out in are favor an just praying something good comes from all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopeful

I love ashely so very much i enjoy the fact i can trust her an know she will be there for me when i need her ...it is great to have friends especially cause i can say she CARES!!!!Today was a really hard day for me an i was able to side track my head an focus on other things. Debbie had a meetin so she wasnt able to come sit with me like she said ..i understand, it is all good.

Thinkin of Scrapbookin day lookin for my stuff from my gramps funeral heathers wedding miranda an uncle melvin an uncle dallas funeral gettin pics an thigns ready...not sure when ash an i will get togehter an scrapbook but will be awesome when we do so much fun YAY.


Thankgoodness for friends LOVE THEM SO VERY MUCH

Grateful Kimmy