WOW

So I really didnt notice i had been gone a little over a month on this thing!!!

has here are some bullets of what has been happening

• Hayden's Party Was Awesome. Ilove my best friend an her son very much!
• Debbie is now officially a Thompson an their cruise went great
• I still cry over my daddy about once a day...some say it is not normal an others say it is ok to cry
  
• i got served papers from my dad;s prior girlfriend....
• so last time i wrote i was goin to third an i have been on third now for a month...it is not really hard for me to stay up but i did get mouthy with a few people last week because instead of saying 1770 in a 6 hour period of picking hey you hit it out of the ball park great job it was next time pick faster WTF!! downstairs you are supposed to pick 255 a hour an from my calcualtions i picked 295 a hour bitches i swear GRR they make me mad!
• my step sister had Charlea an i am excited to go see her tomorrow
• We sold a puppy to a man named Willie lol, an he didnt show up for the vet appointment so to be nice i will give him a ring a ding tomorrow or today an let him know she most likely has worms since he didnt show up to get the worming meds!
• Sequoia sent me to the vet at 4:45 pm 2-26-09 because she climbed an got the other worming med for the puppy an squritted it in her mouth! ewwww the vet said it is the same stuff they give children when the fet pen worms...gross but hey it wont hurt her none! then as well they gave me more worming med for the pup for FREE HAAAAY:O)
• my dentures are almost done, go for a cleaning an another try in on March 10th...an hopefully everything looks good with the try in's an we can finally scedule the pulling of the top teeth! an of course schedule to be off work for that amount of time!
• went tanning for the first time 2-21-09 i love lisa she is the owner of the place very friendly i bought a lotion from there an it broke me out i was itchy an burned for 3 days i am finally not scratching every 3 minutes
• i plan to go hang with ashley this weekend after seeing my neice.
• Jason's truck is in the shop should be done by Sunday or Monday!
• I still havent visited the gravesite to see my daddy.....i may do that sunday Oh by the way the last 3 sundays i have been in church an i miss last week but def goin this sunday i noticed when i do go i feel more calmer during the week....gives me more patience an also shows God that hey even though i have to work tonight i am grateful i still have my job...even though 2008 was a horrible year an at one point i hated him i am sorry for that an praying for better understanding....
• got my first period over the weekend lol very eventful for when you are tryin to get knocked up right?
• praying for a better bank account lol. but excited for the things in life no one can take a way like my little girls smile i hold so dearly when my day has went wrong, or the hug of my hubby an fam an of course friends! to get me threw
• last bullet...Starting to be more supportive of Jason an his reptile thing have a idea once start bredsding we will start out slow an sale at reptile shows an travel to close reptile shows like cinci an cleveland kentucky ya know an then when we have some money in the bank saved look into a business grant an as well i may even go back to college for a degree in business i already have a associate degree in business for travel an hospitality lol how about i get built up a travel lodge put people up for the night with a bed an breakfast in the morning an for travelers have set up snake tanks an lizards an alligators:O) it makes me excited to think about lol again just thinking
  

New year...Same Bull:........

So as most know the Economy is goin down in a sprial...my job is doin layoff's an gettin rid of a shift...Low an behold had a meetin last night at 8pm....all the mangaers an senior mangament was there to help with any concerns an be as a loyal backer lol to help anyone who is goin to lose it! The lovely shift that is being taken away is ours..2nd..go figure after all the mess i have been threw with 08, i need a change right who would have thought it would be my job flippin the script on me..? well i am glad i still have a job but prayin for a 3rd shift job i suppose free's up my time with being able to go to church if i would like an/or hanging with my girls an doin Parties that certain friends throw on SUNDAYS....i am not sure how my body will transsion to the change but i am use to only gettin 4-6 hours of sleep so i should be fine for the most part...an plus i will get to see my hubby on the weekdays before i was not able to do that we only see eachother on days we dont work lol....so it can be nice have dinner together an off to work i will go....the attendance plan changed at my job as well we have a 12 point system now as well instead of life segments an occurances..which is cool i suppose, a no call no show on the attendance policy now would be a automatic action plan 1 ...but on the new one it would just count as 2 points...vacation an personals i assume will be the same though htey didnt go into full blow there ...basically they were just tryin to work us over in the meeting till the end lol before they threw the curve ball an sayin hey layoff some may or may not be with the company but to the upside i still am an another upside once the layoff is done...........more hours 38-40 yea i am excited sad for my coworkers that are being laid off but excited an as well who is to say i will even work with any of my crew ....sadness very emotional i guess just the time i have left with just 2nd shift i will enjoy till the 28th of this month cause thats when the verdict comes on out to play..........wish me luck!

Hurting more then words can express

So i have been experiencing some issues today..got some cleanign done but what i would have liked only did coys room an playroom...still have dishes an living room needs swept kitchen needs mopped...an other then my friendships needs maintained..i hurt one of my Best friends today which obviously i did not intend to do....she knows i got her back just like i know she has mine...but it doesnt feel like it at times at all...I do have my own issues but i never meant for them to come back an smack me in the face like they did today...i dont want to lose people in my life like i have before but not really sure how to stop it from happening when it feels like i have no one to turn too, no one close to me has lost a parent no one close to me can help feel this pain i dont know how to word it my dad has been gone a month a week an 4 days.....some worse then others but knowing he is gone hurts the most...i regret somethings i have said in the past to my dad, an somethings i have prayed to god not even 7 months ago because of me an jason fighting....but god took my dad either way an love is always there for him an him to me, even though i can not see him i know he is watchin over me......but it doesnt heal the hurt it doesnt take away everythingi have seen heard an watched go down since he has been gone...i feel like i am in a ring of fire watching people peck away my dads belongings saying he didnt have much one minute an the next saying that they feel jaimie an i dont want them to have anything...yet hello you have his home an his truck isnt that enough NO OF COURSE NOT





i am angry frustrated lost confused hurt an most of all sad that i am hurting people i love an care for i have been saying things without thinking an even though i am hurting i dont mean to hurt others...........maybe i will just take a breather form everyone since i am already pushing them to the point of wanting nothing to do with me..i dont know i dont disappear easily people no where i am an i am a very out spoken person..i am sorry for hurting anyone an i am still me just lost for right now....tryin to find my back i swear!!!!

Thoughts in 09

out with the old in with new...

K~Kind Hearted

I~Impossible to forget

M~Mothering nature

B~best at what i do

E~exstatic

R~Realistic

L~loving the ones here an that have passed

E~Eternity

Y~Youthful

S~Special

E~Extrodinary

Q~Quirky

U~Understanding

O~only one

I~Intelligent

A~Awesome

my poem

The things in life that i hold dear are things i also long to fear...

losing loved ones such a pain,

dying young, an hurting those i oh so love. I dont do anything to solve my fears but i can promise no matter how many years if i go first or if i go last i will always have your memories in my grasp. By Kimberley rutter

2008 ware about

Jan: Brought in 2008 with watchin tv an popcorn..talkin to my dad an my mom on the phone..Jason turned 27 old fart lol.

Feb:My uncle Dallas passed away Feb 3rd Hayden's 1st bday it was awesome yummy ice cream cake:D then unexpected death of my stepsister Miranda passed Feb 18th at grant hospital...

March: not really much of anything my mom got me cones from the thrist store to practice moverbility, Zoey was diagnosed with a virus that paralyzed her face emotions on one side... found out i have TMJ, need to get dentures i have bone detieration in my jaws ...

April: Went to Madison's 2 years bday celebration, Lexy had puppies april 11th.had to put the girl anya down because she had a cleft palate..sold 2 boxer pups to my sister karen an kept Duke.

May:Coy turned 3:O)great times a little windy that day..Dutchess my chow mix was diagnosed with cancer, Harley turned 3 as well.

June: Max's 2nd bday, Uncle Melvin Passed away June 26th, my sister got jason an I Zoombezi bay passes for my bday:O)

July: I turned 23 got my Julianne Hough cd an Crystal Shawanda cd for my bday...went to zoombezi bay alot:)

August: Put dutchess down on the 8th...4 yr anniversary on the 14th, got my lisence on the 22nd:)Jason's mom came to visit between the 11-18thhad great fun:O)

September: Ashleys bday became friends with debbie again

October: My dad turned 60 on the 27th saw my aunt an uncle from texas:O) my dad was sick

November: My grampa godfrey 1yr remembering him alot...remembered him on his bday as well..my dad was sick in the hospital from 13-28th got moved to hospice on the 28th passed away on the 30th..he was diagnosed with cancer on the 24th it was in his liver, kidney, lung, abdomen, an pancreas, had my mouth worked on at smilemakers 9 teeth pulled go back in january to get impressioins done, dentist talked me into dentures on top an partials on buttom so 2009 i will only have 5 of my own real teeth left rest fake but hopefully will fix jaw dislocation...if not gotta break my jaw an realign it...

December: zoey passed away on the 3rd, showing of my dad on the 4th, niece was born on the 8th, buried my dad on the 13th, hung out with millie on new years eve got the kids ice cream cones:O) had some brandy went to ashleys later that night brought in the new year yum:D christmas was hard but fun for coy

now in 2009 praying for a better year